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20 April 2009

The ethics of my libedo

A comrade is staying with us – one that I chased with the idea of copulation in my younger days – he is lovely with waist length black straight shiny hair – he is like Armand from the film Interview with a Vampire and he is lushious.

I so I find myself increasingly flirting with him and too my suprise after tentively looking at the King he started to flirt back.

Just as I was starting to get carried away the King whispers in my ear, ‘remember he has a girlfriend’ I come down with a thump. It is one thing to hit upon my single male freinds who know that I am marraide but I should not do it to those I know to be in a closed relationship.

But the flirting continued from his side and the King sighed – that night he told me that the ethical onous was not on me. Morally it is Armands decission – but I feel I am doing something very wronge but have convinced myself that he flirts with me becuase it is safe to do so – I am marrade therefore no threat – I am conventionally off limits.

I am feeling very edgy about my sexuality again full stop at the moment so this is a sticky issue for me.

18 April 2009

Lightning Pain

Lightening pain a jagged edge Blossom bloomed Taste of death

Fear crawling mind fired lost in dreaming needing breath

Aching crime thought growing decaying birth fear of unknown

16 April 2009

The Issue of Rape

I found a blog post about a rape story line in the Bill. I constructed a response to it which I felt turned into sort of a blog post itself here it is:

I didn’t see the episode but rape is a tricky subject made more so by girls being made to feel guilty about their own sexual desires meaning that that there are girls who put themselves in the path of danger. This can be seen as the girls consenting it is not but in some areas of this country there are still enclaves were it is considered that a girl is basically going to loose her virginity by getting drunk and not being able to say no.

It is also considered by some to be ok to add something to the drink to relax her. This is disguesting and I thought I had blown it all out of proportions until I met someone esle at university who had grown up near me and he mentioned this as a fact. He didn’t agree with it either.

The emotions of sex are never really explained to teenagers and it all gets very confussed as what they kids read in teenage fiction gives them very warped views of what is going on. Sex turns into a truma for both sexes with the descent boys petrified that if they appear to be interested they will be seen as a sleeze and girls thinking simultaniously that they are ugly/fat as no boy has tried to touch them and that every male is about to drag them down an ally rape them and then stab them to death.

Dressing up is seen as a come on and not dressing up results in accusations of lesbianism – of course attitudes have hopefully changed on that front since I was at school.

Looking at your post – what the Bill would be implying is that if a girl is unable to say no they are concenting which really is well stupid.

I don’t know how situations like this would be best dewlt with. I have watched girls being ostracised becuase they did take things to court – and friends perants not allowing the friends to give evidence in court becuase they didn’t want it to mar their duaghters reputation etc…

Sorry just babbling now – I’d best go.


14 April 2009

Blood Angle

Blood Angle Singing Ruby In the night In my head

Screaming crinsom Lighter tone In the morning In my throat

Blood Angle Talking rose In the soul In my moan

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