Vampyra - Queen of the Goths

Blood pounds within my ears These thoughts again They come to bear Within me and without The pain that washes away All thoughts of pleasure and of love Me alone again Lost forlorn Tired to the edge of being Wishing he was somehow Here

I am afraid that I am keeping the small hours company once again and though I should be resting my unfortunalty broken body I am instead writing. I have been dweliing on my erotic fantascies recently, on the worlds and complicated societies I create in order to masturbate myself to sleep at night. I had been so desturbed by the intricascy and vibrancy of them that I confessed them to the King and told me it is becuase I am creative and that I am basically a writer - this is what I have been doing - creating stories out senorios so why should my erotic dealings be any different.

I am coming up with somthing new and interesting nearly every week - something fresh to excite me so why not write about it? Before this masterpiece of a blog was so rudely interupted by natural cataclism I was attempting to write down some of the more interesting dreams I was having with the idea of keeping them as story ideas in the future and as a way to analys myself. I was also starting to write down some of my fantacies and found that this helps to control that annoying little habit of mine of turning myself into a striated mess.

These fantasies are bits of me that I have pushed down deep and sometimes they are painfull at first, but I love them. I love masturbating to the vibrant imagery of my mind, imagining bueatiful people fucking, clade in entire wardrobes I have designed and designed well to be erotic and provocative in nature.

I had also written several peices of erotica - most about lesbians bizarlly though the King says this is becuase that is the part I am laking - I have a man with whom I can fuck and I even have my harem of cybersex/phone sex minions but they are all men (ok well all two of them). Two of these pieces i had specifically writen to send to an erotic imprint but found that I never sent them off - too worried and embarrassed over my fertile and filthy mind.

But I have spent the last few fever hightened nights pondering upon this and wondered if I should just give in a write more erotic stories - I have been struggling with my sexuality again for sometime and this seems to help - this hashing it all out on the page. So I looked up the ones I could remember and though I have failed to find the lesbian travel erotica I did find the scifi and fantasy people and they have several lots of submissions open for ebooks at the moment - they do not pay very well but they do pay and I need to flush this stuff out of my system.

The sort of senarios they propose are exactly what I have been fantasising about so much as well which is good - there are also the only publishers who have said in response to my enquiry that which I believe most strongly to be true - the word count is determined by the story - this is somehting I have always felt and have argued in writing groups about. My stories are always natural lengths and trying to force them to be anything else stagenates them. I am so pleased with this response that I started writing imeediatly.

I am still writing and have done two sex scenses that are basically within the computer as it programmes a pleasure cyborge. I am having much fun - I had to cough stop for a quick flick of the bean as it were but have been otherwise continously writing.

one issue I do have with this is that I am sick, as in ill and I am having more trouble than normal with spellign and word order which is a pain so I just hope its actually all going to be understandable when I come to the editing stage.

This first one I’m working on has to be done by the 1 May but I think that is doable - the others are due in april but I will just have to see what I get done. I am hoping I can get over the embarrassement factor and actually submit this time.

My mind is lost On road some where dreaming of those things I may never know

Like piece of mind A body divine Pain that never lasts leaving me to sleep

My soul has fled Waiting for the day it may return to me Shredded and torn

I fly on ice wings soaring above All of this

Whirling away On snow Hating this

Fighting the air So thick Chocking

Plunging down through clouds Stained

Wings that are clipped Wings are torn Wings so fragile Never should be born