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5 April 2007

The Zombi Hoards

What sort of hideous thoughts and images could possibly keep your fair Monahce tossing and turning all night long, in the non sexual scense (mores the pitty).

Zombi hoards – I kid you not – yes I could not sleep becuase I have unfortunatly a) seen alot of zombi movies ranging from the sublim (Shawn of the Dead) to the rediculous (Evil Dead) and b) I have read too much Stephen King.

And so…

I find myself wondering about that horrible fungus that ‘infects’ ants and makes them behave oddly so they will climb trees and the such like for the infecting fungus. I find myself thinking that this would be a viable origin of zombis.

I envision them all – city loads – all heading for the same fungus destination.

Obviously they will all have to come passed the Domicile. So then to the plans of how to survive such an attack (oh did I forget to mention said zombis are looking for meat to eat – the freasher the better?). Infected or food – what a choice!

I work out how to barracade the domicile but what of supplies? How long would we be imprisioned for? So at 3 in the morning I find I am googling for population numbers and thinking on how long it takes to starve to death and how many meals worth one zombi corpse would make for the other zombis.

Seven weeks I work out and then plan the rations and sort out how to get enough water but toliets may be an issue – would a chemical loo do? How long will it take to fill etc… If everyone is either hiding or infected there is going to be no water to flush toliets after a while – and seven weeks of a familys scat is not really going to be very healthy is it?

Then to the heating and cooking issue – electricty will go almost at once with gas shortly following but what is they have an oil or gas tank? That would work – ok due to paranoria the Queen already wants one of these incase of armegedon.

Then to the issue of can we protect our feline companions? Could we afford to have them in the house for that time? What of their needs and their ablutions? Maybe if we were lucky but probably not – the cats would have to go – nononono – think harder – ah solution – yes thats it, our feline companions are saved.

Would we have any warning? Yes about three days as the zombis will be on foot infecting as they go and there may even be some military intervention of some sort.

Enough time to make sure you have everything in from out buildings and sheds and what have you, enough time to make the building really secure – although there is no point in going to the shops as there would be a mass panic on and it would not be safe.

So that would leave us secure and safe and with food and water – it is all planed in my head – why am I doing this in the middle of the night – fuck knows.

I even got the point of thinking of how the military and that would clean up after wards and of flame throwers and quariteen. Yes you are right my dear Mortals I am a complete and utter fruit loop.