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4 May 2007

Time gone awry

My time of slumber created yet more realistic visions for me, read on.

‘I know this place’ I wisper as I look around, it all looks like that street were I grew up the houses terraced with flate roofs but something is wrong, something is very wronge – there is just too much ivey growing up the walls and telephone pole. I look closely and there are broken windows that people haven’t even bothered to board up. The air is too still there are only a few cars parked and they too look delapitaded.

I hold the Lady to me, grass grows through the cracks in the pavement and the air is somehow misty and pearlescant. No people! I can not see anyone – there is no sign of people, infact there is no sign of things like cats.

The front door is hanging off of my perants house, I look at the alexander rose gone wild and growing in through a window, I’ve been gone years, I know this now it in my bones. but I have no memory of what has taken place me and the Lady are still the same. No that is not quiet true my pain my physical pain is gone and I am the size ten I should be but I feel something is keenly missing.

I hesitate about going in the house – what has happened?

Nuclear war? Some disease? What? Why is everything still so perfect and yet tumble down?

A neigbour I once knew as an agile foster mother now decrepid and fail, hair yellowed white like its been tabacco stained, she looks at me from her house.

‘you came back?’ she says coming to the front door, ‘they knew you would, they waited but she got them in the end, she’ll get you too if you stay there in the open, she doesn’t like strangers. She doesn’t like many people at all!’ she bursts into unpleasant laughing – her breathing sound hallow and rattily.

‘What? What happened here?’ I ask.

‘The land was dying she made a bargin with us, but she did not tell the price,’ she leens over me her blue eyes look cloudy, milky in their surround of pink bloodshot white, her lids are so heavily hooded. ‘You were safe, they took you before she came. Seek shelter there are others here but if she catches you first…’ she shook her head.

‘Where is this person?’ I ask worried the Lady is still and docile in my arms, staring wide eyed about.

The old lady points up the hill to a section of three houses, they are still clean and no plants encroach on them, white plaster in patterns of fruit bowls and the like drap across the window. ‘She comes out for her ride daily so I would hide if I were you, not in your mum and dads place mind.’ She turns her old cloths crackling with dry decay and she barrackades herself in. I am alone in the street alone with the Lady – I have to hide.

I turn on the spot and look at the allyways that lead to the woods, to the river, I have a faint glimpse of a memory – I used to run when they chased me – I used to hide in the trees, I used to know places in the river bank. I run sensing that this woman is coming.

But things are not as I remember them, the trees are all gone instead there are rolling plains, grasslands worthy to be called the South Downs though they would be miles away.

The air here is if anything mistier though you can still see well enough – the sun a febal yellow white diffused patch in the sky.

The river? Well it is the sea, I wonder about global warming, I rembered that I had worked this out once, that this is what could happen but things were wronge – it all felt strange, some areas of the grass land looked as if bits of rock had been ripped out. The missing bits were further on but had centries worth of moss on them.

the disparity in the works concerned me, made my mind real with forgotten geology. I tasted matallic blood in my mouth, in the distance I hear the sounds of horse, my heart begain to pound. I run up the little hill that had presented itself infront of me. I rounded the crest and there was a little cove of trees. nestled within was a little wooden shack with a boat and wood pile, relief flooded me and I hastened down to it.

No one was about but I could hear the horses coming, I was terrified, the Lady held on tightly – silent with her eyes so large.

A man stood by the entrance, he reminded me of the King, the king who I had not recalled in all of this paniced flight. He was not the King though, he was older by about 7 yrs and was a cross between the Kings impish face and my GCSE biology teacher. His dark brown mop of hair matching his eyes. He was not the King though his motions and gestures were similiar.

‘Please sir I need shelter!’ I cry – I have spent years trying to train myself out of saying sir so yes I probably would really say this.

He looks at me with disdain, ‘why should I risk it?’

‘I have a child at least take her?’ I plead, I feel anger and pathetic helplessness I still have no idea if there really is a danger but with the Lady in my arms I will not risk it.

His eyes soften but only slightly, ‘Go in the hut then,’ he snaps. I begin to thank him, ‘don’t.’ he says shortly. The building is ramshackle but neat and well laid out, very functional and very homely. I crave to stay they, my heart is aching for the King, it is hurt at the thought I could have forgotten somehting so improtant, something that is a part of me and then with a jurk of guilt I realise that I can not envision the King – I can only see the man whos hut I am hidding in – within my mind when I try.

I look through the slits in the side of the hut and a carrage complete with white feathered horses pulls up, a rather plump, verging on seriously obess lady with a mass of curly hair in garish over died red sticks her head out of the window.

‘Jonny? Darling come her to me.’ The man strides confidenltly over to her, she is heavily bejewelled and dressed in heavey velvets and satins – dark greens and blues. She has far too much makeup on and is quiet frankly a scary Cinderella’s mother type.

‘have you seen any strangers about?’

‘No your higness he says naturally.

‘Hmmm,’ she purses her lips – they are made up in a dark red almost brown colour. ‘I sense that someone, probably female has entered my domain, I must have her!’

‘what do you want with such a person mam?’

She laughs hideous and loud, a gutterial belly laugh, I pray the baby wont make a noise, ‘nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about’ she smiles at him in what she probably thinks of as a seductive manor. He curties back and she drives off. As soon as she is out of sight he swears throwing his tools down on the soft moss like grass.

‘Get out here.’ he snarls and I know it is directed at me. i hasten out of the hut. ‘She knows you were here.’ He does not make eye contact with me. ‘Put the child down for a sleep she’ll be quiet safe.’ He marches back in and prepares a tempory cott for the Lady. I am dubious about leaving her but he grabs me by the wrist and drags me out of the hut.

‘You are lucky she is really pissed off, if she finds you – you’re so much dead meat got it?’ I nod wondering how this is, ‘are you a sleeper?’ he asks suddenly and I look confussed, ‘what do you remember he insists.

‘Not much, look I’m really sorry but I used to live here and it didn’t look like this, what is going on?’

He looked at me with dark brown eyes, he still has hold of me and drags me down and around the hill, there is the sea, it is tranquil and grey, the sky is a pale misty blue and view is beautiful but there is a jetty stretching out for what seems like miles and the end of it is an old fashioned mast for television or radio broad casts or some such, very Rocky Horror Picture show infact.

‘Wow’ I say taken away by the beauty of the scene – through the mist I can see other shapes looming. i feel slightly chilly he turns and looks at me.

‘she is a suorceress, she is powerful and passionate and dangerous and she eats girls like you for breakfast. Where is your husband?’

I look down, my rings sit on my finger, our engagement ring and wedding ring they seem to glow faintly, ‘I, I don’t know, I didn’t even remember him until I met you.’

He nods, ‘you will have to stay with me, there is no where else then.’ He turns swiftly and goes to walk away then he suddenly turns back, partially agressive grabbing my chin with his hand, ‘You have to do things exactly how I tell you, do you understand? Everything I tell you – no arguments, no nothing, got that?’ I nod afraid and yet attracted, hating myself.

I am afriad but excited and worried.

‘Look at the rocks you were right they never were like this she shifted things, she made everything the way it is now. Where exactly did you live.’ I explain and he nods.

Back inside the hut he makes everything livable for me and the Lady and is kind but somehow cold. He sleeps in the chair by the fire whislt I have the bed.

I settle into a strange routin with the Lady playing outside with me watching her whilst he goes off to catch fish, there are many boxes of boxes and strange tools lurking about the hut. He would sometimes sit whittling watching the Lady play with a slight smile. I would stand looking at the tranquile sea thinking of the King and feeling the affections for this man confussed with the love for the King.

He seemed emensly awear of this asking repeatedly what the King was like – the physical similarities were startling bar eye colour which was so very different.

Twilight he brings an old style mack made of brown waxed cloth, he draps it over my shaking shoulders and I look at him. He is tense.

‘these rings do you know them?’ He holds up the Kings Wedding and engagement rings. Tears fill my eyes I nod, ‘they are your husbands?’ I nod. He looks down at his own hands and then puts them on, I reach to stop him, he catches my hand, ‘no,’ he says, ‘I must be your husband now. Do not argue.’

I sob and he holds me, smelling similiar to the King but tinged with oil and faint sea salt.

The next day the Souceress returns, we are all out on the grass they is no oppatunity to hide. I scoup the Lady into my arms, ‘What is this?’ she asks.

The man smiles at her, ‘This is my wife Gabrelle.’

Her eyes flare and seem violet in the strange diffused light of this world, ‘your wife?’ she almost spits the words.

‘Yes I went to the French clinics, you.. you don’t mind do you?’

‘No I suppose not,’ she says, she looks at me, ‘Child come here.’ she becones me, I look at the man and he gives a faint nod of the head. I walk up to her, dark purple nails thick with the coats of vanish dig into my chin and cheeks as she turns my face first one way and then the other, ‘very plain, my dear, she’s very plain I would have expected more of a socialite from you, still I suppose she is a good worker?’

‘Oh yes most excellent.’ ‘

Good then our arrangement still holds?’

‘Of course,’ he said.

‘And the child?’

‘Mine the clinic vamped things a bit, I hope you don’t mind, they’ve been working on it for about two year, she had to be reconstructed quiet a bit.’

‘You will bring it along to the services, and I suppose we will have to arrange a christianing wont we?’ she smile falsly and huge.

‘Well erm.. we sort of all ready did that he says sounding embarrassed. I am confussed by the exchange.

‘Fine,’ she says and rides away.

I look at him and go to speak, ‘In the house now.’ He snarls and picks the Lady up.

‘Do you understand what I have just done? do you?’ I shake my head confussed. ‘The only way you could survive is by being my wife so now that is damn well what you are going to be. But you are not her, not the girl I was waiting for, no more than I am your husband. We will have to be careful, you are not a reconstruction but I am – it may become evident to her at some point and then we are both dead and so is the Lady. You understand?’

I nod though I am confussed. ‘She made me, made me for herself but I turned out to be me. She has granted me freedom, she doesn’t know,d I know of the reconstruction she is viscous and she has choked this land.’

He pulls me close, ‘you’re husband made sure you were safe, he also made sure you were pregnant, only just before you slept, he hoped he could join you but she got to him.’

‘How?’ how does he know such things, he smiles the Kings smile.

‘I am not your husband, I do have a few fragments of his memory though even without it I would have helped you, you have awoken in a nightmare I don’t think either of us can understand and we certianly can not stop her but I will look after you and the children. Will you bare mine too?’

I nod, he kisses me.

There was more but its fragmentary as I was starting to wake up.