You are currently browsing the Vampyra – Queen of the Goths weblog archives for July, 2007.

26 July 2007

Cataclism and Stress

My dear mortals your Queen has had a few issues of cataclism to deal with – to wit: the Domicile flooded, contaminated water and for a while there no water.

Many people are suffering the same if not more and the first time me and the King managed to get the radio and find out some morsal of news as to what was happening – it was to hear the tragidy of the first fatalities. We were both highly saddedened as it was premature twins whos mother had gone into labour whilst being stranded by the flood and possibly a missing teenager who had been out clubbing.

We realise how lucky we are and can not bare to dwell on the misery of those families, that could so easily have been people we know and care about but in this instance just thanks to luck weren’t.

In the mean time there have been riots over water and the Bowsers are either non-existant or empty – the poor crews not being able to get to them quickly enough or not being able to find where they are ment to go.

The Lady was evacuated by us to relatives and I have managed to eat little due to that whole thing of projectile vomit that assailed us due to the Ancestor ‘looking’ after the Lady – She was I know being kindly but I went over to check to find her and other Ancients from the village allowing my baby to play in the FUCKING flood water, the filthy disgusting flood water – without even her little wellies on.

Hence – illness and mine and the Kings heart breaking decission to be seperated from our child for more time than we could have invisioned since her birth.

Bizarlly however, I have delt with this great uphevial in olur lives alot better than say having one appiance break on me – strangeness in the extreme.

I has been horrible though – I had just finished setting out the downstiars, putting all our trinkets in exact place and now – bam! We have WIPE OUT and a lot of damage and plaster that will take months to dry and will probably have to just be striped etc…

I am trying to just cope with little bits at a time – to propelle ourselves forward a bit at a time – least the world cave in on me once more.

21 July 2007

Does she ever shut up?

My perantal units were staying again and some of the Kings family were staying with the Ancestor next door and I had to do a meal for them all – this was stressfull in its self but then the Maternal Unit did not fucking shut up – oh no it was all – woes me, things are so bad – I can’t do anything becuase of my health and the drs just tell me to control my diabetes and on and on and on.

Then she starts on me, starts on what I am doing at the moment, trying desperatly to engineer things so I end up even more of an invalide – telling me to give things up and not to do things whilst then contradicting herself and telling me I need to get out and do more things. She wouldn’t fucking shut up about how I should claim sickness benifit even though I told her it would make us worse off and things – on and on and on.

And she was so racist in these comments too which had my back right up – I’ve payed my taxes for blah years and all the foriengers get the benifits and you’ve lived here all your life etc.. etc…

She annoyed the King by, again, taking the credit for our wedding and all the organisation when she very nearly screwed the whole thing royally and I was having appaplexy trying to sort it out and she aurgued with me over every aspect of the thing.

She just kept telling us for the whole weekend that what we were doing is wronge – trying to run our own business is wronge – wanting a nice clean home at detriment to my health is wronge (well maybe but I can’t live in a pig sty – I have a toddler!), trying to be an artistist type person is wronge, not looking after the Ancestor is wornge, not moving back into their small very untidy and dirty house is wronge, not turning into her is wronge…. it goes on and on and I was losing it.

Not to mention the amount she talked about the Gremlin – yes I know that they were down visiting us becuase of the hearing about his death which had been canceled so therefore they had a week spare but for god sake I can’t cope with it and she just rams it home – telling everyone how good he was with children for a start.

Then she tried her damnest to sabotarge the Paternal units Birthday celebration and the poor sod was sixty – I could have strangled her I really could have :'(

I think I need to explore a few more of these things in further posts.

She talks utter crap she really does! She tried to get me to take her medication and kept trying to get me to put lotions on myself for various things, then to the patches of skin that are a different pigments on me – some of them are on my neck now and she was going mental at me that I should get them treated – wtf?

Why they don’t hurt or anything and they are not dangerous they are just remnants of her ‘dirty’ mixed blood – she may be ashamed of it but I’m not – yes having patches of darker skin like that isn’t particually attractive but it’s not on my face and I don’t really care – I have many more things to worry about.

I am finding myself increasingly short tempered with her and I keep arguing with her too. She ripped into me once more explaining that I am not writing poetry unless it rhymes etc… Oh and my attempts to do illistration she refered to as boring as all childrens books are about dragons can’t they be about anything else at the moment. She said there weren’t any other themes and that was boring – I tried to explain that the dragons aren’t generally the theme they are either plot device or protagonists but she wouldn’t have any of it – she never does.

On and on and on she went spilling out her bile.


I could write reams and reams of this including her telling me that her pain killers weren’t analgesikcs so I should take them – I couldn’t help but laugh and laugh and laugh at this one.

20 July 2007

Of Mice and Men

Ok I’m not really sure if I will manage to actually write this with out cracking up or just stiring the subject far far away. Whilst my mother was going on and on about the Gremlin and his soo tragic death and all the rest of it – I was becoming more and more stressed by her continual mentioning of him and his qualities. I went for a walk with the King to carm down and discuss things with him.

Out of this discussion came a plastered over memory of what had desturbed me so much during my GCSE’s – the Gremlin was staying over every other weekend at least and was sleeping in my bed in my bedroom whilst I had to share a room with my brother – I had been given Of Mice and Men to read and I couldn’t help but have the feeling of skin crawling.

I fallowed the story with a sick fascination watching half the fears I had of the Gremlin come to fruition in the murder of Curlys wife and the relief I felt and the cast iron feeling that Goerge had done the right thing in his heart breaking killing of Lenny at the end.

From the way the little pet mice were killed by over zelost strocking to Curlys wife – there were my fears laid bare. The Gremlin was stronge and clumsy and had been brought up being allowed to get away with everything becuase he didn’t understand so it wasn’t his fault – he had no concept of boundaries or responsibilitys.

This would possibly been ok if he was of say a younger childs interllect but he wasn’t at the time he had the mental age of a thirteen year old which to me is pretty old and should have understood what was right and what was wronge. But it was my fualt apparently – all my fualt – I confussed him by telling him I loved him and kissing him on the cheek – I was eight years old and trying to show people how much I cared about them but it was thrown back at me with devastating effects.

What the Gremlin did in itself wasn’t that bad but I was informed that it was my fualt and then told not to tell anyone including my own father by my mother. The termoil and confussion this cuased were horrendous and I was already living with the guilt of being evil, a guilt laid down upon my shoulders by the Tormentor.

I’m not really sure once again where I am going with this stuff and I can not bear to write anymore about it.

Sorry for droning on once more dear Mortals.

19 July 2007

I hate Money

I hate this – I knew we were short of money this month and had told the King so and that we needed more by midway – so imagine my shock when he turns up saying theirs already not enough to pay everything.

The reason?

He’s had to pay £400 into his personal account as they are being arsy even though he he is within his over draft limit, I didn’t even know he’d spent anything from that account – now that means we are £400 short – that is a lot of money.

Not entirely sure what we are going to do now :'(

Just when I thought we were getting ontop of things this happens – he has spent all money I got on Monday for stuff now too – basically becuase it was the only money we had.

Stress levels are high and I know he’s stressing now and when he stresses he can’t work properlly – SHIT SHIT SHIT

Next »