You are currently browsing the Vampyra – Queen of the Goths weblog archives for October, 2007.

6 October 2007


The Walking Skeleton is refusing to let me wash the door curtians – which due to the Flood have infact already been washed – in a washing machine! I want to wash them again as our house became infested with insects whilst we were not in it and I want to put the curtian into storage.

Then she tried to blame me for the burn mark on the curtian – the burn mark that was on the dam thing when we moved in and was the result of the curtian over lapping the old storage heater. She also wants curtians back up our windows – erm… but we are waiting for building work to comense? Where is the scense in putting clean curtians up the windows?

She also accused me off braking the lining of the curtian – it turned out she was confused as I have attactched a thermal liner to the thing to try and help us a) keep the house warm and b) not be so destructive to the planet!

To say that my temper is frayed at the moment is – well an understatement of the largest kind :(

5 October 2007

Cuastic Nothing

There so much caustic nothing within me at the minute, I sit and stare with hideous and blatent anger of a kind no one deserves and I am fighting not to turn it inward, fighting not to lash out at my angle, my lover – at my all and I’m failing, falling and falling and shifting through a quagemire of pain and resentment.

I don’t really know how much more I can cope with, my world is collapsing one thing after another. We still have no home thanks to the Flood and I am having to cope without the King for too much time and yet I know it to be nessassary to get through this.

I hate the world, I hate myself and I increasingly hate anybody with an easy life.

This is all so FUCKED UP :(

3 October 2007

Time is Getting Thin

I feel I have stepped back into the 1940’s or perhapse the 30’s, I have ended up washing things by hand becuase the Walking Skeleton refushed to get the washing machine repaired and off course she doesn’t have a dishwasher – heaven forbid!

There are rituals I do not know – such what types of spoon I have failed yet again to retrieve from the draw and why do I keep getting out the non-silver rubbish? I seem to be expected to produce a three course meal each day no matter what else is going on and I am not allowed to put the nappies in the bins in the house meaning a painful trip outside for me. Everything aches as I wait for yet more test results and she makes me go outside into the cold – I can not sleep, I am now in the part of insomnia where the world is no longer real.

I see the hell of my life reaching out before me and there seems to be no end.