You Married the Wrong Man

The Kings comes to me looking sad and forlorn, he snuggles down head protectively nestled under my arm.

‘You married the wrong man,’ he says quietly, sounding lost and very small, the words jarred me and my heart physically heart.

‘No I didn’t why do you think so?’

‘I can’t satisfy your needs, I can’t support you and I certianly can’t fullfill your sexual needs. I don’t shag you enough nor how you want.’ He sounded on the verge of tears, my heart wrenched.

I hug him closer, trying to remeber not to hurt him by being too rough.

‘That doesn’t matter. I love you it’s you I want to be with.’ I was trying not to cry now.

‘But it does matter you get so frustrated.’

‘Babe I told you before the sex isn’t what makes us, Us. Even if we could never have sex of any kind ever again I would stay with you and love you, its you I’m obsessed with, you I crave to hold. This..’ Gesturing to the hugging, ‘is what makes us a couple, all the little things the little gestures. the bandaging me when I’ve been stupid, the hugging you when you cry.’

He just nuzzels me more still not looking at me, in fact I stroke his hair and his nose and kiss his closed eyes, I want the big scary world to go away and leave him alone.

‘I used to think that sex was important, I’d been brought up to think it was the pinical of a relationship, the way you show love, the thing that is love. This is why I used to get so upset when you couldn’t shag me, not only was it my uber hug but I felt you were rejecting my love. I took sex too seriously.’

He nods and I continue, ‘Mum made me think that sex outside of married was a very wronge thing and in fact it was a dangerous thing anyway, I was so paranoid that if I went home with a man I’d end up dead. I trusted you, I trust you I love you. It’s me thats fucked up with sex the fact that you put up with it is the mirical.’

He looks up to me with those buetiful blue eyes, ‘you need to go and stay with Cat Man he’d sort you out for a while.’

‘I know but I’d be too scared without you.’

He nods and we hug, I remind him that sex is not what defines us as a couple in love at the end of the day it is a physical function highly emotionally charged it is true but alot of that I feel is a result of our societies strange views on what it is what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Repression leads to problems – I was taught to repress, I have been struggling with my nature – alwasys horney and it is not even like I want ‘normal’ sex most of the time.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 30th, 2007 at 2:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply